I am strong willed, independent, and down right stubborn. Ordering this bracelet is not merely an indicator of a disease state, but an indicator that I am not in control. The latter being the bigger issue.
I am thankful my beloved found the website LaurensHope.com. If I must wear a bracelet it ought be beautiful. I select a rose gold and teal beaded bracelet and click “ORDER.” Fighting an unexpected wave of emotion, I ponder what information to engrave on the plate. I’m angry! I don’t want this this bracelet nor this disease.
April Dawn White
Hypokalemic Periodic Paralysis
ICE: Husband’s cell number, ICE: Parent’s home phone
Hours later the kids crash through the door. Rachel produces a gift from a family at school. I am deeply touched by their generosity. I gasp as I open the small box to find a leather wrap bracelet with the words “I REFUSE TO SINK” engraved on the metal plate. An anchor serves as the clasp.
Only God! Only God knew that earlier today I would struggle with what words to have permanently engraved on a medical alert bracelet. Only my Jehovah Jireh, which means “The LORD Will Provide,” could orchestrate this specific gift for me on this specific day.
The medical alert bracelet reminds me I am not in control.
However, the leather anchor bracelet reminds me that I REFUSE TO SINK. I refuse to allow the Enemy to control my thoughts and take advantage of my weakened state.
I refuse to allow this disease state, which paralysis my muscles and freezes my face, to paralyze my spirit and my ability to praise the LORD.
God wove strength and hope into the my DNA long before this disease began to unravel my muscle strength.
My verse for 2015 was this:
“We have this HOPE and an ANCHOR for our soul, FIRM and SECURE.”
(Hebrews 6:19, NIV emphasis mine)
I have periodic paralysis and daily weakness. But God is my anchor. He is my hope. He will keep me steady and firm. I refuse to allow this disease to paralyze my spirit and my praise. Furthermore, I refuse to sink making “It is well with my soul.”
~April Dawn White
Photos courtsey of author and Pixabay.com